Speed of Trust

It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it


Below is a small summary of a book I read over the past few days titled “The Speed of Trust”. Simply put Trust means confidence. The opposite of trust – Distrust- is suspicion. The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he/she does becomes tainted. That is the moment when people automatically start discounting everything you say by 20/30 % or even more. We are living in a very fast paced and changing world. As you go to work or home or somewhere else, your top responsibility should be to build trust.

Trust is one of the most powerful forums of motivation and inspiration. People want to be trusted and they respond to trust by trying to uphold it. Nothing is as fast as the speed of Trust.

Trust is a function of two things: character and competence. Character includes your integrity, your motive as perceived by others, your intent as perceived by people. Competence includes your capabilities, your skills, your results, and your track record. Competence is situation: it depends on what the circumstance requires.
There are 13 behaviors that can help you build trust with anybody. All the 13 behaviors require a combination of both character and competence. The first five flow initially from character, the second five from competence and the last three from an almost equal mix of character and competence.
• Behavior # 1 – Talk Straight i.e. be honest, tell the truth. Let people know where you stand. Don’t manipulate people or distort facts and hence don’t leave a false impression.
• Behavior # 2 – Demonstrate Respect i.e. genuinely care for others. Show you care. Treat people as human beings, if they know you care, it brings out the best in them. Respect the dignity of every person and every role. Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you. Each contribution needs to be honored and respected no matter how small a contribution is to an activity or an effort. Show kindness in the little things. Don’t fake caring.
• Behavior # 3 – Create Transparency i.e. Tell the truth in a way people can verify. Get real and genuine. Be open and authentic. Operate on the premise of “What you see is what you get. “ Don’t have hidden agendas, don’t hide information.
• Behavior # 4 – Right Wrongs i.e. More than simply apologizing, make restitution. Its doing what you can to correct the mistake and then a little more. Make things right when you are wrong. Apologize quickly. Demonstrate personal humility. Don’t cover things up. Don’t let pride get in the way of doing the right thing.
• Behavior # 5 – Show Loyalty i.e. give credit freely. Acknowledge the contributions of others. Speak about people as if they were present. Represent others who aren’t there to speak for themselves. Don’t bad mouth others behind their backs. Don’t disclose others private information.
• Behavior # 6 – Deliver Results i.e. Get the right thing done. Make things happen. Accomplish what you are hired to do. Don’t over promise and under deliver. Don’t make excuses for not delivering. Results give you instant credibility and instant trust. They give you clout. They clearly demonstrate that you add value that you can contribute, that you can perform.
• Behavior # 7 – Get Better i.e. continuously improve. Increase your capabilities. Be a constant learner. Develop feedback systems both formal and informal. Act on the feedback you receive. Than people for feedback. Don’t consider yourself above feedback. Don’t assume today’s knowledge and skills will be sufficient for tomorrow’s challenges.
• Behavior # 8 – Confront Reality i.e. take the tough issues head on. Its about sharing the bad news as well as the good, Don’t bury your head in the sand.
• Behavior # 9– Clarify Expectations i.e. Remember all conflict is a result of violated expectations. Clarifying expectations is all about creating shared vision and agreement about what is to be done up front. You can also call it behavior of prevention by disclosing and revealing expectations, discussing them, validating them, Renegotiating them if needed and possible. Never assume that expectations are clear or shared.
• Behavior # 10 – Practice Accountability i.e. Take responsibility for results. Be clear on how you will communicate how you are doing and how others are doing. Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility. Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.
• Behavior # 11 – Listen First i.e. Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with your ears and your eyes and heart. Don’t presume you have the entire answers o all the questions.
• Behavior # 12 – Keep Commitments i.e. Say what you are going to do, then do what you say you are going to do. Make commitments carefully and keep them. Make keeping commitments the symbol of your honor. Don’t break confidences. Don’t attempt to PR your way out of commitment you have broken.
• Behavior # 13 – Extent Trust i.e. Demonstrate a propensity to trust. Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your trust. Extend trust conditionally to those who are earning your trust. Learn how to appropriately extend trust to others based on the situation, risk, and credibility of the people involved. While Behavior 1 to 12 help you become a more trusted person, this behavior will help you become a more trusting leader. Not only des it build trust, it leverages trust. It creates reciprocity, when you trust people, other people tent to trust you in return.


Please feel free to add......